My misery is my own.

See, that’s where my problem lies.

I keep thinking that the reason you can’t help me is because you don’t understand me. But deep down I know you can and, I’m only using this excuse of your ‘incomprehension’ to fool myself into believing that my problems aren’t so twisted. 

You can see where it comes from, you can see what fuels it and how I hold it within me. You do understand, better than anyone.

Yet, there is nothing you will do that would ever take it away.

And the hardest part is that you cannot do anything about it.

 My misery is mine. 

You cannot bleed my foul blood through the cuts on your palms. Only I can do that, and you know it. 

To have to sleep by my side while I cry myself to sleep. To watch me walk on the tight rope above my demons snapping from the chasm. 

I don’t want to imagine what it must be like to be you. 

—————–X—————-

P.S – It’s really cool that there’s a 100 of you guys now! I appreciate it a lot. Happy blogging :}

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13 thoughts on “My misery is my own.

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  1. There are so many lines in your post which describe the inner pain so well.However I am not able to understand that who is in greater misery,one watching it or the one bearing it.Moreover I would like to know,is your tone towards the one who is helpless watching the misery,sympathetic or rude!?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a really nice question. I think when it comes to the greater misery you can’t really compare them, according to me these are the merely fleeting thoughts going through her head and she isn’t really giving much of a thought to who’s worse off, rather that they both are one way or another. Towards the helpless one I thing she is at first resentful but slowly understands how it cannot be their fault and feels sympathetic and by the end of it, she feels almost sorry that they had to witness it. What did you think when you read it?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I completely agree with your thoughts.Initially I could sense the resentfulness and so could relate well with your words.However you tone went sympathetic,I just wished it couldn’t.Anyways but you are right for there are actually times when the other one is helpless too.Moreover at the end of the day,it is only ourselves who can understand the intensity of the misery…people or friends can be there to console us but the time we choose to overcome it ultimately depends on our own self.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ya I think that’s what made me want to write it in the first place, I wanted to show her as someone broken who didn’t blame the existence of her sadness on her loved ones, I mean you can always resent someone for not helping you but we are often unable to see that sometimes no matter how much they care, they can’t really help, you don’t get saviours in the real world and you can only fool yourself for so long.

        Liked by 1 person

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